As children we idealized the love of a couple and dreamed of that prince. So we also idealize family, motherhood, friendship, work, even our own children.

From a young age we internalized models, stories like the Anne of green gables where I thought I was the little orphan. Social and cultural expectations also appear that tell us how things “should” be:

🏡The family must be a safe haven.

👯Friendship, unconditional.

🚜Work, a source of purpose and fulfillment.

🤱Children, an extension of our best intentions.

🤰Our body, the one we had before we were pregnant.

What if you discover that real life is more complex, more ambiguous, more uncertain, sometimes very far from what you dreamed?

The mourning begins when those images are broken.

When we discovered that:

🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒The family can also hurt,

😒Friends can fail,

👨‍🎤Work does not always dignify and,

🧑‍🍼Children don’t come to fulfill our dreams.

That no one – or nothing – exists to fill our gaps or confirm our expectations.

And in that break, something dies. The person who held the illusion dies. The character who lived clinging to fantasy dies. I like to think that we do not reincarnate in another version: more awake, freer, more real, more authentic, with the opportunity to rebuild your world from consciousness, self-knowledge, compassion towards yourself and tolerance towards yourself and others.

It is at that moment where we see people as they are, not as you needed them.

Humanizing what surrounds you – and yourself – is one of the most courageous and loving acts you can do for yourself and others.